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The Four Buffet Roles of a "B-Team"

So you and three friends have decided that today, today is a Buffet Day. A valiant decision indeed. However, have you considered who will take what buffet role each of you will take. Many of you may have played war video games that have different positions. (Engineer, medic, soldier, sniper) None more important than the other, of course. The same goes for buffet teams. (B-teams) Not all four of you can scout the buffet to highlight points of interest. Not all four should be the lookout for fresh trays of food coming out of the kitchen. No one would have time to do what is really important in the buffet, eat. LOTS. So here is a handy guide with the four major buffet roles, so you too may designate each member of your buffet team an equally important role.


The Scout - The scout's role exists only before the eating commences, but is arguable the most important position of the B-Team. The scout is to go out to the buffet, perform a walkthrough of the buffet, and report findings back to the rest of the B-Team. The Scout should be not only the most observant of the group, but also the one with the best memory. The Scout tells the other members where key points of interest are...such as crab legs, prime rib, or other 'big ticket' items. In addition, he or she shall be able to distinctly describe the layout of the buffet. Is it a line buffet, the traditional "U shape", a series of islands? The Scout may want to come armed with a sheet of paper and pencil, to draw an overhead map and then put stars on the big ticket items listed above. From here, your B-Team can conduct a strategy to minimize the amount of walking needed to get to path of their buffet success.

The Timekeeper - Again, a very simple job, but very important as well. The Timekeeper's most important job is to set their watch or stopwatch to beep at five minute increments. This is to keep the B-Team informed on the amount of time before they will reach MSC, or maximum stomach capacity. Around twenty minutes is when the stomach starts telling the brain it's full, so the Timekeeper's job is to keep his B-team on track. The goal is for the first plate to be done around the 7 minute mark, the second plate by the 15 minute mark, and the third (usually smaller plate) done around 20 minutes. That way, dessert can be snuck in without too much complaint from one's tummy. The Timekeeper should also run the conversation. Say that the medic is talking too much, the Timekeeper should alert them so they can make up for lost buffet eating time. Your timekeeper should be attentive, observant, and able to host a conversation.

The Lookout - The lookout has a few very important tasks. The Lookout should take the lead when the hostess goes to sit your B-team. He or she should take command, making sure you are seated within full view of the buffet. This may depend on how crowded the buffet is, but if possible, the lookout's field of vision should optimally be at 75% of the buffet. This is because the lookout is always looking for fresh trays of food coming out of the kitchen. As the kitchen is constantly putting out new food, the lookout may want to have carry a piece of paper to track what foods are at the peak of their HAF (Hot and Fresh) factor. As buffeteers, we know that a fresh, piping hot tray of mac and cheese beats the crusty, half burnt mac at the bottom of the tray, so the Lookout makes sure you get the right foods at the right time.

The Medic - A position often overlooked by normal buffet goers, but it is important to always have a medic within your group. Only a B.D. (Doctor of Buffet) is necessary, and by reading this blog you will qualify for one. There are many common injuries involved in buffet going, such as burns, brain freezes, cuts from opening crab legs, loss of circulation to the lower part of your body due to excessive eating, and many others. The Medic, should have a small first aid kit with bandaids accessible, but most injuries can be cured within the buffet. Burns in the mouth or fingers can be soothed with ice cream or sucking on ice. The medic should remind the B-team to consistently move their legs under the table (a simple tapping of the foot is sufficient) to keep circulation moving.

So, what buffet role do you specialize in? Or are their other buffet roles you can think of?

Stay tuned, as next Saturday I will be doing my first field experience since the creation of this buffet, at Shady Maple Shmorgasborg.